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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and writers stay alert regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to discover that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, the Italian striker entered a community college to use the facilities during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies recalls in his journal, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I closed the door after us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|